The Butcher of Muldoon Legend is Told!
Elijah Dunckleman and Howl-O-Ween at The Phoenix Zoo!
We talk to a local legend!
Danny Northside - Tuesday, October 27, 2009
I'm sure some of you locals here in AZ with kids would like to take them somewhere "spooky," but who wants their kids so scared they crap their pants before the ride home? The few haunted houses here in town are catered to adults only and though it sounds fun, traumatizing an eight year old child will cause repercussions!
Well this year the Phoenix Zoo has a solution. Friday and Saturday, October 30 - 31, 2009 6:30 PM – 10:30 PM the zoo is holding what they call Howl-O-Ween with three levels of scare activities. Howl-O-Ween will offer a variety of activities that cater to both the brave and the not so brave. All activities will be broken down into 1 of 3 scare levels indicated by the number of skulls shown, 1 skull (Scare Level 1) being the least scary and 3 skulls (Scare Level 3) being the scariest. Please note that Scare Level 3 activities are intended and were created to be terrifying, so please be aware of the activity’s scare level before participating.
This years festivities include unveiling of their newest inhabitants from the Crypto-zoological world. These new inhabitants include famous legends of our time such as Big Foot, Loch Ness, the Jersey Devil and El Chupacabra. BUT, unfortunately one of these creatures managed to escape and will be wreaking havoc on the zoo and all of their guests.
You can also take a ride on their horse drawn wagon to the darkest and scariest corners of the zoo where even we won’t venture on our own. You are sure to encounter a few horrifying characters along the way. Plus The Pirates of the “Scare”ibbean: Yakulla Caverns has been taken over by pirates! Enjoy the opportunity to witness alligator wrestling pirates while you venture through the treasure filled caverns. And they are auctioning off an authentic 1796 Spanish two escudo GOLD COIN.
There is a ton going on. Ghost Storytelling, Phoenix Arizona Paranormal Society will be in Podd Ramada to answer paranormal questions, share evidence from real ghost stories and display some of the equipment that they use in their investigations and you can take a spooky train ride through their Africa Trail and encounter some traditional Halloween characters.
It's $6 for Phoenix Zoo Members and $8 for Non-Members. The Phoenix Zoo website has all the information needed and includes what are included in each scare level. Go here for more info: Phoenix Zoo Howl-O-Ween We had the opportunity to speak with Elijah Dunckleman. Elijah has lived in Arizona his whole life and is considered an authority of the history of Kitty Calhoun, The Butcher of Muldoon; which is scared the pants off local residents for many years now.
ICSYB - So I have heard alot about you Mr. Dunckleman, your reputation is renown. Please tell our readers a bit about you and The Butcher of Muldoon.
ED - My name is Elijah Dunckleman, my friends call me E.D.. I guess you could call me a storyteller. Today’s story is one of backwoods, beef, and bloodlust, set in the early years of Arizona’s statehood.
ICSYB - I have never been to Muldoon. I have heard lots of rumors but it's all hear say.
ED - Home of the annual “Chuck Wagon Chow Down,” Muldoon was a quaint little western paradise, at least until Kitty Calhoun and her gang of knuckleheaded n’er-do-wells rode in. Kitty Calhoun was a country beauty on the outside, an ugly, hateful, she-demon on the inside. Kitty’s sweetheart, “Creepy” Cletus Humperton was dumb as a stump and smelly as a skunk. She also had a sister Lacretia Calhoun who was known as “The Creature” that was so foul even the moon wouldn’t look at her!
ICSYB - I remember reading in AZ history books about twins or something?
ED - Yea, that's the Crawlpappy Brothers – the only triplets in history to be born in 3 different states: Missouri, Kansas, and Maine.
ICSYB - That doesn't happen much. Tell us more about Kitty.
ED - Kitty had been braggin’ all year to anyone who would listen (and there weren’t many) that she was a shoe-in to win the Cattle Carving event, and she had just the tool to help her do it – a meat cleaver five feet long and weighing over one hundred pounds! However, as anyone who knows will tell you, cattle carvin’ is a precise skill, and when Kitty was disqualified for chopping her cow in half with one blow it set off a chain of events that is remembered as one of the worst massacres Hayduke County has ever seen (second only to the Boggy Creek incident).
ICSYB - Is that when all the murders began to take place?
ED - First off went the head judge’s head, and then the mayor’s legs, then Ms. Holsapple the schoolmarm... well... well... well the carnage just went on and on. When the gang finally ran out of people to slaughter they started hackin’ up each other! And you know what? When the whiskey starts flowin’ and tales are getting’ told, some folks will tell you that those evil spirits still wander Muldoon to this day – bein’ that they were too stupid to know they was dead.
ICSYB - What happened to Kitty?
ED - In fact, the only body unaccounted for was the most despicable of them all – ‘ol Kitty herself. Some say she went on down to Mexico, others claim she went to work in the cat food industry, and there are even those that believe that she never existed at all.
ICSYB - Wow - so the stories are true! So Kitty just vanished? Is there any record at all? What do you think happened?
ED - What do I think? I think she’s still out there – somewhere in those woods, swinging that bloody cleaver until the cows come home..